Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
