you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
