Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
3 2 1 whiskey
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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