Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
