I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
