some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
