Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
