She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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