what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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