dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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