he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
