Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize