Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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