I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
