No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
