Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
