god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize