my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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