I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
