is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
