I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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