Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
