I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
