Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
