my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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