You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
