Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize