I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
