smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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