marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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