that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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