Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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