oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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