its not stalking. its research.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
