3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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