what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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