she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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