i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
