Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
