what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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