remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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