I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
don't judge my taste in strippers
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
