He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
