I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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