We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
