So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
