hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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