No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
