Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
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