There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
