How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
