You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize