Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
