I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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