PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
