I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
