I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
