Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
