We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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