Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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