if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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