A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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