I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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