it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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