hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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