So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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