if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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