you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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