So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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