this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
