It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
