You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
