You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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