I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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