is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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