dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
