Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
