Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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