listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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