I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
