Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize