she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
