I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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